About three months ago, I was hit with a really strong nudge. I felt called to start a small book study with women. Sounds easy right? Well…it took about a full month for me to even consider the idea. This wasn’t a “Let’s get together and discuss a fun fiction book!” type book study. This was a book that challenged us to go deep, to be honest, to share some of our innermost thoughts…maybe even thoughts we aren’t consciously aware we are thinking. Long story short, my group met…13 of us agreed to meet. And it was great. And I felt like I had actually heard accurately from God that this was what he wanted. Like I had followed his leading. And five days after our first meeting, schools were cancelled, we all bought more food than our small South Minneapolis kitchen’s can actually hold, and toilet paper became the most popular kid at Costco.
Book club was on hold. I felt disappointed and like maybe I had heard wrong and this wasn’t the way God planned it. I felt defeated. But then I read something the other night that talked about God equipping us with whatever is needed to accomplish whatever it is he calls us to do. And I realized I had stopped the book study because it no longer looked the way I wanted it to look. My friends, cozy in my living room, drinking wine and munching on snacks. Connecting. Sharing life. Staying up way too late.
But I was reminded of the reason I started this group in the first place. I wanted women to connect – to learn from this book I felt so called to study with them – to be drawn to God by recognizing the lies and false thoughts running through our brain.
So we are back on…taking book study to Zoom, my new BFF. It will look way different and it may not be smooth – but the goal is to connect…now more than ever. To take time to recognize the thoughts running through our brain and sort out what lies we are believing. To recognize the anxieties running through our head and how to hand them over to God (so hard).
And I’m realizing that God knew the timing of all of us when he planted this idea in my head back at Christmas. How we would be allowed one meeting before heading into quarantine life. I don’t know how the rest of this book study will turn out, but I do firmly believe God has called us to connect with others during this time…even if we are scared. Even if it means staying up late. Even if it means no cozy hangouts in my living room.
Anyway, that’s just something on my mind I wanted to share and hope it encourages you. Or makes you think about how you can connect with others during these odd times.
Let’s recap…
How am I feeling today: Tired. And very pregnant. Third trimester is no joke…and I know it’ll only get more tiring! This sounds silly but sometimes I forget I am pregnant and forget my body’s limitations…and I try to do all the same things…and then I am exhausted. I could barely crawl into bed at 9:15 last night…I fell asleep in 1.2 seconds.
Today’s Win: Grocery delivery! And four gallons of milk because my kids will drink that by Sunday. And the Reese’s Easter eggs that I hid in my kitchen…don’t tell anyone.
Funny kid moment today: This is kid related but it is actually about the grocery deliver guy. I had requested he purchase any baby wipes he could find at Target (if you aren’t aware, these have been one of the many sold out items). He didn’t comment on this request so I assumed he had luck finding wipes. After going through my delivery, I realized he purchased one lonely pack of wipes. And that was the moment I knew he was not a parent. No parent purchases one measly pack of wipes. We purchase the 8 pack, minimum. Anyway, that just made me laugh. And also, time to ration my wipes.
Today’s hero: My grocery deliver guy – thank you for shopping for me!
Til tomorrow…
the middle girl blog 
Would love to know what book you are reading! Praying for you all and very much enjoying these posts.
XO Lo